Director: Michael Hoffman
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 1 hour, 58 minutes
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*sigh*
Now, beyond the fact that this movie is basically "The Notebook" all over again, I can understand why someone like BigJ would be mad at a movie like this. My argument is that it's worse for me, a woman in her late 20's, and to whom this movie is truly pandering. Well, me and apparently the audience full of middle-aged women who were at our showtime. The poor schmucks that get dragged to this movie under the notion that they will 'get some' after it is over will hopefully leave the theater as enraged as we were, but we know that the better portion of the people who will watch this drivel are girls and women who eat shit like this for breakfast. Hollywood has given us many, many instances of unrealistic expectations for relationships and love, but this is one of the worst offenders in a long, long time. There is so much wrong with it apart from the fact that it is as sappy as a river birch, as trite and as melodramatic as can be, and as completely predictable as any other generic romance story, especially one involving a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Nicholas Sparks, you need to stop. RIGHT NOW. You have enough money already and yet continue to shovel this crap at the public like the selfish jerk that you are.
First, the acting is atrocious. Not only do Luke Bracey and James Marsden look absolutely nothing alike, but Luke Bracey is also a huge derp. There is no way in hell we believe Bracey as a young James Marsden. NO WAY! Who the fuck cast these people?! It's not even close! We like James Mardsen as an actor and even BigJ can admit that he is a very pretty human being, chiseled jaw and all. Out of all the completely detestable parts of this movie, he's the "best." He does just fine with what he is given and manages to be rather charming, but that says more about him than the total hogwash script. Luke Bracey, on the other hand, is the worst part of this film. His wooden acting and totally lack of ability to show any real, standard human emotion is not only distracting, but painful to watch. Michelle Monaghan and Liana Liberato at least look a little bit more like each other in order to pull off a two-decade long transformation. Monaghan is not the best actress, but she's also not the worst. Her character in this movie, unfortunately for her, is insufferable and pretty much all-around insulting to women. Settling for the man who knocked you up in college, making all of your plans and hopes and dreams come crashing to the ground, putting your life on hold for him, and living in a loveless relationship and marriage for nearly 20 years, while not wholly unrealistic, is perhaps the most repugnant movie cliche in the entire cinematic universe, but it also just feels so much worse than it really is in this movie.
The notion that women sit around and wait for the right man, aka Prince Charming, to come and save them from their miserable, pathetic lives is a miserable and pathetic idea itself. Liana Liberato, who plays younger Amanda, at least had goals and ambitions for her life, but was still desperate enough to grab the first fixer-upper guy who came along and flashed his smile at her. This is another grossly annoying movie cliche. The wealthy, snooty rich girl with all the advantages in the world finds herself a reserved but shockingly handsome guy from the other side of the tracks who is secretly a genius and is naturally talented to become her boyfriend. From there, she molds him into her perfect love puppet. Her parents obviously hate the idea of them together and try to drive a wedge in between them, BUT NO! TRUE LOVE PREVAILS! If I were him, I would have taken the $80,000 her father was going to offer him for college in exchange for staying away from her and ran far, far away.
This movie is a complete and utter misery. On top of the fact that the plot is one of the most recycled ones, it drags on much longer than it needs to, we don't get emotionally attached to any of the characters, the acting and cry-faces are horrendous, and in fact, we don't really believe any of it, either. We as audience members are supposed to want Dawson and Amanda to be together in the end because of fate or destiny or ~*the stars~!* but we just don't care. At all. One bit. It has all been done before and will all be done again eventually. It's disingenuous, asinine, abhorrent, and loathsome. What a waste of time.
My Rating: 3/10
BigJ's Rating: 3/10
IMDB's Rating: 6.1/10
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 7%
Do we recommend this movie: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!
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